‘The Creative Process’ from DEVOTED CONTEMPLATION is a monthly post centered around all things writing and creative process. The whole point is to love the process––this is where I reset each month to tend to that. These posts are filled with insights and ponderings from my life-long commitment to honing my craft and nurturing my relationship to creativity.
Hi my loves! ‘Creative Process’ posts are usually part of my paid offerings, but this one felt too juicy to keep to myself. Consider this a little treat in celebration of Beltane (the Gaelic celebration of fertility and rebirth every May 1st). I hope you enjoy! :) xo
1. I have been in accidental worship of the throat chakra.
2. It is the home of self-expression, communication, purpose, integrity, creativity, acceptance, honesty, and authenticity. Not coincidentally, I have been deeply focused on each of these areas (but mostly self-expression).
3. Self expression: (noun) the expression of one's feelings, thoughts, or ideas, especially in writing, art, music, or dance.
4. I can’t say when it specifically started but maybe it was a few months back when my soul had informed me that I had fallen out of love with my writing practice and needed to fall back in love.
5. Writing needed to be play time again. It needed to be when she would sit down to write and maybe feel a pang of resistance to the blank page but then remind herself, you’re here to play, my love, that’s it, nothing more, nothing less. The moment it didn’t feel like play she would stop and rest, then return when she was clear headed again. (If we’re going to fall in love, the process itself must be loving, of course). Consistency in the form of showing up has always been her north star, for it is the one thing she can control. She is constantly being inspired by things around her, connected to the world, and acts on that inspiration. She is always jotting down a little blip here and there to add to this month’s essay or that month’s art fuel. She is setting deadlines and meeting them with ease.
6. She might be a Leo fire sign but she is water. She is dancing with life and it dances back with her. She is me when I am utterly devoted to the way of living that is self-expression.
7. Self expression is why I am here writing these words, every week. I can’t say it’s been a breeze posting this frequently. I am still getting used to shifting my life around this commitment to the written word, this commitment to expressing myself and sharing it with the world. Self-expression is what it has always been for anyways. My soul’s medicine. The true ‘why’ behind it all.
8. The Why: It feels so fucking good to sit here and let the words pour out with ease and then click publish knowing that I’m letting other people see a deeply authentic version of me and that it’s (hopefully) helping them connect with that part of themselves as well. Knowing that week after week, as I sit with the connecting threads that show themselves between each post, I am getting closer to understanding what my message(s) is/are on this planet. What I am meant to birth forth into the world.
9. (Dare I say action creates your purpose?)
10. When we express our humanly experience through art and create something around an intangible idea we were drawn to, we are creating something from nothing and embodying the creators we were put on this earth to be.
11. We don’t find purpose and then create. We create and then purpose finds us.
12. The weekly fat hit of dopamine post-self expression happens to also be a huge plus and has lasting effects for ~2.5 days, but no more. This is because there is nothing more satisfying than doing what we say we are going do and feeling that grounded, earthly energy of integrity course through our veins (which smells like sweet soil) alongside the soft kindling of self-trust in our heart (which feels like the first hearty cracklings of a fresh log on a bonfire).
13. (Note: Clarity might also be satisfying as hell but without integrity, we can’t even trust ourselves to follow said clarity. When integrity comes first, clarity says, Oooh she’s ready to receive me now! Here I come!).
14. When you play as you create, a lovely side effect is genuinely forgetting to be embarrassed or nervous before clicking publish. If it’s just me playing, why would I be nervous how that is received? I’m literally playing. Are you going to judge how I play? Go ahead, it’s kinda fucking weird of you, but go ahead. Would you be worried if you heard someone say about you, I can’t believe she climbs trees instead of throws a frisbee.
15. Creative outlets are sacred.
16. And I love how the most sacred things, like play, like creation, are the least serious. In a recent Ram Dass podcast episode I was listening to, the host said her spiritual teacher told her, “this is incredibly important, you shouldn’t be taking this so seriously.”
17. The abundant side of self-expression is saying here I am, here we are in this universal dance. Let’s play together. Here are my glasses, put them on for a sec. I hope you can enjoy my view for a while and glean from it what you may. Let’s connect on it later.
18. The shadow side of self expression is the greedy toddler saying this is MINE, do not touch! This side secretly loves getting an insane find at a thrift store or in your mom’s closet so when someone asks where you got it, they literally can’t get it themselves even if they tried. This side is on the look out for ‘copiers’ because they forget that our experience is universal. They are determined to be different because they don’t see their own story as enough, their own existence as enough, and ironically stray from their own authenticity as they try to stand out from the crowd. They judge those that are basic, refusing to look at the ways that they too enjoy trends (which is OKAY and FUN to partake in if you do so sustainably). They don’t realize that it’s not the fear of being basic, it’s the fear of not being special. It’s the fear that they’re ordinary.
19. “Please, God, please, don’t let me be normal!” – Sigourney Weaver in her 1967 high school year book
20. We all want to hear, “I have never met anyone like you.” So many red-flag men that went on to love bomb me have told me that. And yet still…Swoon. Blush. Giggle. Eyes roll back in head at how good it feels to hear that. Say it again, I beg of you. Even if you meant it as if I was actually the most odd, enigmatic human you’ve ever met, say it again.
21. Praise kink but it’s you telling me I’m unique and that my artistic creations touched your soul.
22. Rule #1 of self-expression: It is PLAY.
23. Rule #2 of self-expression: You must enjoy your own creations. (If you don’t, who will?)
24. Put your reader/viewer/listener hat on, consume what you’ve created, and do not leave your project until you genuinely think, oooo yes, I like what I did there. That transition is spunky and fresh, I love how I’m fucking around with format because it caters to my ADHD brain so nicely. What a dank sentence, that gave me chills lowkey.
25. Rule #3 of self-expression: Don’t keep it to yourself. That’s selfish.
26. Maybe you love to journal and when you re-read some of your entries you think to yourself, wow, this is actually kinda fucking good…Something inside of you urges you to do something, anything, with it but you dismiss the urge because you can think of a trillion reasons as to why it doesn’t make sense. So you close your journal and those profound words stay there, hidden, forever unless maybe they seep into a few vulnerable conversations with loved ones here and there, but that’s it.
27. Your profound creations that you are keeping to yourself in your journal, sketchbook, computer, etc. could be changing people’s lives––giving them a moment of joy or inspiration or laughter, guiding them through the exact same problems you yourself have worked through, changing their literal outlook on life. (Get out of your own way, my love!).
28. When we are in a state of alignment and integrity, doing what we love because we said we would do it, clarity comes in hot.
29. So create your alignment formula. Mine was = working on my upcoming writing workshop + in one of my favorite coffee shops + in Seattle + recently fed with nutritious food + with a matcha lavender latte next to me. And suddenly the essence of my purpose came pouring into me:
30. ~ Self expression. Truth excavation. Telling stories. Guiding others. ~
31. (And it feels so fucking obvious to me now it’s funny! How had I not known this entire time?)
32. Self expression quite literally needs to be in everything that I do. It’s why I find my closet now blossoming with color after 15+ years of a nearly all-black wardrobe. It’s why I now put in a little effort into my work-from-home outfit because I know that how I feel in the clothes that I’m wearing will affect how I show up that day. It’s why I am sitting here on a Friday afternoon finishing this Substack because I know that this is my life source that I am meant to devote myself to.
33. The process we are meant to fall in love with is not just our craft, for that is one of many vehicles for self-expression. We are meant to fall in love with the ongoing act of self-expression as a whole, letting it infuse everything we do and how we are and how we move through the world. Realizing that where it is lacking may be our next area to give some extra love to and that we can apply the wisdom learned from the other areas of more fluid self expression to that new focal point. I can’t wait to dance with my purpose as I find more and more vehicles that can carry its essence.
34. Your self expression is not meant to be saved up for your craft, it is a way of being that can infuse even how you show up to your corporate job, or simply how you make dinner.
35. How you do one thing is how you do everything.
36. Show up for your craft because it gives you energy, dance with your abundant self-expression, and let it pour over into your life.
I love you!
Kristen 🐇 🌟 🌀
Edited and published again on the back patio (my Sanctuary) as I sit in a tank top and skirt with slight goosebumps on my arms because I am optimistically pushing the limits of spring weather, which is, of course, hot in the sun, freezing in the shade. Hoping you all have a lovely weekend! <3 xoxo