molting no. 1 – march 2024
my fave smelling flower is now in bloom, rapid decision making, free donuts, jumping rope, and consistent writing shares
‘Molting’ from DEVOTED CONTEMPLATION is a monthly list of delights, wins, and lessons learned over the past ~30 days––celebrating the natural falling out that occurs as we make space for new growth. This was created in an effort to focus on 1) how many moments of joy we can choose to cherish, 2) how far we have come instead of how far we have to go, and 3) what we can let go of.
Hi lovelies! Quick side note: My normal sharing cadence is one post a week every Thursday, but today is an exception as I want to squeeze this one into March. I hope you enjoy on this beautiful spring Sunday. Also, they say the OG pre-Julian new year calendar date was right around the time of Spring equinox and everything feels fresh-out-of-the-womb right now, so what better way to kick off ‘moltings’ than by starting on Easter! Enjoy xo
delighting in:
Walking past a bush and stopping in my tracks as I realize my favorite smelling flower is now in bloom! After years of being obsessed with it, I’ve learned that it’s called ‘Japanese Cheesewood’ or ‘Australian Laurel.’ It is reminiscent of orange blossom and makes me stop dead in my tracks without even seeing where it’s coming from. Mother nature’s perfume always reigns supreme! 🌸
Booking my next Seattle trip in a series of rapid guttural decisions (to move me closer to my dream of living up there) and it taking a total of 1 hour (and included 1 plane ticket, 2 airbnbs, and 1 rental car). Relishing the simple question: is it a yes, or is it a no? Setting aside the fear of how it’s all gonna work out and letting myself be unexpectedly delighted by whatever occurs. I can’t fuck up divine timing! 🌲
Creating a post-lunch time ritual in the middle of my work day that includes a homemade decaf coconut milk latte with a squirt of date syrup and my current smutty fantasy novel (shoutout to other ACOTAR girls that are also now Throne of Glass girls). ☕
Jumping rope! Finding so much play and satisfaction in this child-like daily movement. Feeling like I’m entering my Rocky era of fitness. Hitting a new record each day (I’m at 62 weee!). And of course, giggling as I’m ‘inspired’ by sexy men jumping rope on IG. 👀
Going to my favorite donut place (Holey Grail) and putting my shyness aside to choose warmth and curiosity as I introduce myself to the cashier I recognized from my last visit. Getting lost in conversation as we talk best flavor profiles (lilikoi and yuzu) and then feeling SO loved finding the free donut they slipped into my order, not once, but TWICE! As I get excited and nervous about moving up north where I don’t really know anyone, I remember that small moments like this are what lay the groundwork for the deep sense of community that I long for. 🍩
Posting 5 Substacks in 5 weeks on the exact days that I set as deadlines for myself. This one brings tears to my eyes because last YEAR I posted a total of 6 Substacks. I am about to top that in just 6 weeks. I wish I could tell myself last year that I was capable of this and that no, it won’t drain you, it will make you feel so incredibly energized because you are constantly connecting to source, babe. It’s only draining you because you are making it something you have to do instead of seeing it for what it really is: play! It feels so good to build self trust by being my word as I continue to do what I say I am going to do. 🥹
Realizing that setting boundaries doesn’t have to be so intense/heavy. It can be light and infused with humor and a little awkward with our delivery. What matters is that you’re trying and being loving. My dad sat down across from me and I immediately said “wait, I need to be alone though please.” And then I started laughing and blushing realizing my clunky-ass delivery and then so did he as he got up and honored my boundary after a deep sigh and a smirk that said without saying, oh my crazy lil daughter. 🤷♀️
Getting a massage when my body was so sore and really needed it (thanks to jumping rope lol) and then following it up with a 1 hour long bath. Living for this decadence and pondering starting my work day with a bath because why not? Here’s to tiny moments of luxury, always. 🛀
Copying men’s style and not knowing why I was so drawn to it until my friend said, it’s because you’re bi babe. And then chuckling at the hilarious truth of that. It’s so fun that you can buy clothes to dress up as the identity/vibe you wish to exude. As RuPaul said, “we're all born naked and the rest is drag.” 🕺
Plants in LA after rain. When coral tree roots make small fairy ponds. Or when the thirsty clovers and grasses get so eagerly tall that your feet leave perfect lil indents in them. 🌱
letting go of:
Procrastinating taking action. Creating time between the moment of inspiration to act and the action itself just invites overthinking and then self doubt. Just make a decision/take the action in the MOMENT that it comes to you and then pivot if you need to, love.
Holding myself back from authentically connecting because I feel shy. I’m done with worrying if I’m coming off as weird and remembering that attempting to authentically connect with someone is mushy and sweet and it’s okay if you blush, that’s precious honestly and I would find it so endearing.
Being moody around others to punish them for their behavior that I don’t like. I either gotta voice my needs or let it go. No more passive aggressive nonsense. Remembering that hurting others doesn’t make me feel better and that holding on to being right hurts myself most.
Only writing at night. When I write at night, my brain isn’t at its sharpest and I’ve held a tiny anxiety with me throughout the day about not having written despite wanting to. Resistance is scariest when you face it at the end of the day. Face it first thing and you’re chilling. When I write before my work day starts, it reminds me that my writing (my soul work) is my priority before anything else. W.H. Auden said “only the ‘Hitlers of the world’ work at night; no honest artist does.” I don’t think that’s true at all but it is hilarious.
Thinking that because I’m feeling self doubt, I’m destined for failure. Self doubt is an incredibly normal part of the process that even the greatest of the greats felt. It’s not about eliminating it, it’s about knowing it’s a part of the process and letting it slide off you. Remembering that if it isn’t present, then you might not be challenging yourself.
I hope you enjoyed moltings no.1! Many more to come :)
What delighted you this month? What lessons did you learn? What are you letting go of?
Comment below, I would love to hear from you. <3
Much love,
Kristen 🍩
This is another example of a paid post that I’m now offering, along with my art fuel and creative process posts. If you enjoyed this or you know someone who might, please feel free to share it. I would love to connect with other soul-journeying, creative folk! <3
Your letting go of section feels like it was written FOR ME. Also, welcome to the jump rope soreness club, we're so happy you're here :)