reminders for those committed to building their dream lives
my most potent life lessons thus far, distilled over the past two years and documented at the start of my Saturn return
Hello! This is a big day because it is my first post from ‘FRUIT OF THE OAK,’ previously ‘DEVOTED CONTEMPLATION.’ More to come on the story behind the rebrand. In the meantime, just bask in the energy of the new name and feel it in your body (it feels quite magnificent if you ask me).
I just started my Saturn return (!) and figured I’d kick it off by capturing all the lessons that have been my wisest teachers thus far.
In re-reading them, I realized how obsessed I am with folks actually going after their dreams and committing to their soul paths. It sounds SO fuckin cliche and vague and I cringe a bit writing it but every cell in my body knows that’s why we’re all here and a feral part of me refuses anything less. That unruly part of me is an urge that will never wane. Even after my most depressed seasons, it comes back, some how, and though it nags, I am grateful for its relentlessness, because it gives me hope that I do have what it takes if this thing inside me will never give up. It is my north star when I (inevitably) try to convince myself that a 9-to-5 isn’t so bad or when I try to distract myself to go after a safer ‘dream.’ It’s like a coyote caught in a trap that will gnaw its leg off if that’s what it takes for true freedom.
I’m here to remind you that we’re meant to go after our biggest dreams because 1) our authentic desires aren’t random (we’re meant to connect with them) and 2) the journey towards them is our becoming – infused with us developing our soul gifts, believing in our own abilities, and evolving into the amazing person/creator that we’re meant to be.
The distillations below have been mined over the course of my unfurling (a beautifully never-ending process) as I allow that coyote urge in me to take up more and more space. I hope you enjoy them. Love you! xo
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OUR PURPOSE IS AN INTANGIBLE ESSENCE, NOT A JOB. It cannot be confined in a single physical form – stop trying to mush it all into a job or passion project or whatever else. Your soul has a signature to it and our job is to allow that signature to come through in every area of our life. (If you don’t know your soul signature, create more time for intentional solitude and meditation. I recommend sitting in the sun and zooming into the feeling of the warmth on your skin. The soul never shouts, so you have to create quiet, devoted time to hear its whispers.) We get so caught up on ‘what’ we are doing and forget it’s all about ‘how’ we are doing it. When you focus on the ‘how,’ you allow the ‘what’ to come to you and you see that the ‘what’ is filled with ever-changing avenues for your soul essence to come through.
WHEN WE DO NOT KNOW THE WAY, WE ARE (ANNOYINGLY) ON OUR PATH. If we think we know the way, we are probably copying someone else’s path and it’s only a matter of time before things start to feel a bit off and we have to course correct. That journey of veering off course is actually not a problem to be solved because the entire process brings you into closer connection with yourself and your true desires. (Btws, whenever you arrive at a paradox, you’re in the right place: you’re in the realm of the soul).
COPYING ISN’T SHAMEFUL. There is no shame in copying people we admire. In fact through the process of earnest imitation, we end up finding our own voice and discovering what is authentic to us. And that’s because oftentimes it’s better to learn by doing, instead of learning by reading aka getting lost in theory. (Note, if you’re copying and then trying to sell/showcase xyz as your own unique creation, that obviously sucks and is not cool. Don’t do that.) Start copying someone you love and then at some point it’ll inevitably start feeling weird and that’s when you ask yourself, how can I make this more me? And then do that, again and again, until you’ve created something that’s true to you. It’s only a matter of time and trying.
CAFFEINE CAN BE CHILL. The right amount of caffeine (aka NOT too much) can make you feel more hopeful and get you out of a funk. It truly feels divine at times, like everything is gonna be okay in the world. Too much can make you jittery and sweaty and a ball of anxiety. Find the perfect amount that gets you to feeling hopeful, couldn’t recommend it more.
WE DON’T NEED TO FEEL CONFIDENT IN ORDER TO TAKE ACTION TOWARDS OUR BIGGEST DREAMS. We start making tremendous progress when we take action whilst feeling fear, self doubt, uncertainty, a lack of clarity/understanding. We move forward even when we do not know the way (which is like lowkey 85%+ of the time). No one actually knows the ‘right’ way, we just choose one way because it’s the one that’s popping up right now. Success comes from showing up.
ACTION CREATES CLARITY. (Inspired by Sarita Walsh). This one is my ride or die. If we wait to have clarity before taking action, we will overthink ourselves to death and be waiting forever and feel like shit. Taking action before I feel ready has arguably been more healing than 90% of all the healing modalities I have tried. Trusting that we are ready when we say we are is some of the most powerful soul medicine. What are you waiting for?
CLARITY COMES IN MANY FORMS. Sometimes it’s a deeply fulfilling experience that tells us we’re on our soul’s path, and other times it can be experienced as: what the fuck, I fucking hated that and thought I was gonna love it. Don’t discount the latter! It’s still clarity. Yes, it’s muddled with disappointment, but it’s still clarity. Feel the disappointment and then mine the experience (via intentional reflection) for all the wisdom it has about what you truly desire and about what next steps you can take with this new information.
THERE IS LITERALLY NO SUCH THING AS A WRONG DECISION. Every decision moves you forward in some way or another and brings you more information than you had before. With that new information (which is newfound clarity), you then make your next decision, which sometimes is a pivot, and then you make another, and another, and so on. It’s not as big a deal as you think. Just choose one lil mama.
AUDACITY > TALENT. (Inspired by Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way). The most successful people are audacious as fuck. It’s rarely ever about their talent. Talent only takes you so far. (Unless you’re a straight up savant lol). Most of the time it’s the people that are saying, “fuck it, I’m gonna keep doing this because I can,” that make it. They just have the audacity to keep showing up and to keep taking up space with their art and their creations (even though they’re cringing too). (Btws cringe means we’ve stepped out of our comfort zone and into our growth zone). You can do that too.
BABY STEPS REALLY DO ADD UP. We think big strides are what move the needle but it’s really just wee little continual baby movements that create the most progress. The funny thing is, big change is actually quite imperceptible because we are inching along day by day. It’s like how one day you look in the mirror and see a proper woman looking back at you and you think, when the fuck did that happen? Same goes for dreams. One day you’ll realize you arrived though it won’t feel like a ‘destination’ because it is so deeply ingrained in your state of being. It will simply feel like beautiful recognition and gratitude.
THE LONG-GAME IS THE ONLY WORTHWHILE GAME TO PLAY. (Inspired by Yancey Strickler). Hold the big vision and move towards it with trust and consistency. Anything outside of the long-term vision is a distraction along the way and often for some sort of short-term gratification. Don’t try to convince yourself that the distraction or the stepping stone is the dream. It isn’t. The big dream is the dream. Keep going after it.
TRUST THE BREADCRUMBS. DIVE INTO THE RABBIT HOLES. You won’t be able to see where they’ll take you, so stop trying to. How boring to demand to know what will come of your adventure before you even start it. Just trust the soul nudge. Obsession paired with a creative outlet is deeply healthy.
COMMUNITY IS CREATED, NOT FOUND. And it’s often right under your nose, waiting for you to lean into it. Through each moment of seemingly nonsensical small talk with the barista, running into folks you know at the farmer’s market, waving to the old woman at the park, texting your neighbor to bring in your packages please – community is often there you just have to look for it and appreciate it for what it is and nurture it some more if you want to feel more rooted wherever you live. (I recommend putting effort into community even if where you live doesn’t totally feel aligned because having community is like adding another powerful supplement into your life. It can only do you good.)
IT’S OKAY TO BE MISUNDERSTOOD. It truly SUCKS but it ultimately is okay. You’re not meant to be for everyone. It hurts deeply when you’re misunderstood by those you love most, but it means nothing about you nor your talent nor your ability to reach your dreams. Just go on living your life, the right people will find you and make you feel so loved and help you see yourself more clearly. The best thing we can do in moments like this is sit with our inner child and tell her, “I understand you and see you and love every bit of you; you are such a wonder, look at you go!”
CURIOSITY IS LOVE. Curiosity (without judgement) is a form of love mixed with openness and attention, and it is lovely to receive. In fact, it is very healing to receive. This isn’t about sharing your vaguely related experience on top of what I just said (Jesus christ, that is a top 5 pet peeve of mine); this is about nurturing the person’s expression before you and diving deeper into it through loving follow up questions that show you want to know more about them, details and all. Might be my favorite love language.
YOUR DESIRES ARE EVIDENCE, THEY ARE NOT RANDOM. (Inspired by Kitty Knorr and Issy Living). If you ever catch yourself wondering if you dreamed too big, or hmmm maybe I should tone it down a bit to be more realistic, NEVER DO SUCH A THING. Your dreams aren’t random. They were planted in your psyche for you to use as a north star. Why were they planted there? You’re not meant to know that, muffin. Your desire for them is evidence enough that you are meant to connect with them during this lifetime. Trust, trust, trust that your dreams so deeply want to connect with you as much as you want to connect with them.
CREATING ART IS A NON-NEGOTIABLE. If you’re deep in grief, create something. If you’re on cloud nine, create something. If you’re busy as fuck, create something. If you’re on vacation, create something. There is no such thing as ‘being in the right mood’ to create art – that’s just you resisting your craft again. When we stop creating, we stop up the flow and it builds up in our throat and it feels like we’re choking. I’m not being dramatic; if you’re an artist/creator, you’ll get that, because self expression lives in the throat chakra. Create something to clear it out. As humans (aka conscious creations), it is our job to create ourselves and keep the channel open. As Julia Cameron says, “using our creativity is our gift back to God.”
I hope these reminders touched a soft part in your soul. I have been arriving to these again and again over the past few years – the spiral path of the soul that you probably know all too well. It’s funny how you think you’ve learned it but then you just have to solidify the learning once again through a different but related experience and it gets easier every time. Life is cool like that.
Let me know what you thought of these in the comments! This post veers a bit from what I normally do so I’m curious to hear your thoughts.
Love you bunches,
Kristen xo
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Posted from the park which feels cute and special.
I love that these are reminders. Reminders, hinting at the fact that we know them in our hearts and have forgotten them before and will likely forget them again, and that's okay. Having them written out here, I feel held.
Also, what is that beautiful, purple drink?
So here for this rebrand, and all the wisdom that your Saturn return is bound to unlock! It’s hard to fathom that you’re only at the beginning—I was absolutely flailing at the start of mine. But your spirit speaks with an old soul, like it has danced through many lifetimes 🕯️ thank you for sharing those pieces with us ⭐️