creating art during times of grief

how to tend to both rest and self-expression

I am getting good at grief. Is it weird to say that? It’s true though. My 20s have been exceptionally rocky. When I was 24 I was dating an amazing guy and he overdosed right at the start of the pandemic. When I was 25 I tore my ACL and had to undergo complete reconstructive surgery and go through that arduous healing process. When I was 28 (now) my childhood home burned down in the Palisades fires while my family and I were on vacation.

I say all of this not to invoke pity but to simply contemplate my ever growing relationship with grief that I can’t seem to look past right now. I know her so well. She says “hello again” and this time I don’t wince or run from her. I reach out my hand to hold hers and say “it’s been a while.” And she softly says “it has. And it hasn’t. I’ve been around in more micro ways, like when your style evolved past that sweater that served you for the past 10 years and it doesn’t hit like it used to, or when your best friends get married and you were SO happy for them and their great partners come around all the time now and it’s fun but it’s not the same dynamic that you grew up with, the one you knew and loved, it’s different now. I’m not always glued to tragedy, I’m often right next to celebration––but always, I’m beside change. She is my best friend.”

At first I think, I must rest. That is the medicine that I need right now. So I go to sleep early. I wake up without an alarm. I nourish myself with good food. I workout. I go on a beach walk. I spend time with friends. I read a book I love. And yet something big is missing and deep down I know it because although I am ‘healthy,’ I feel lifeless.

And so I begin to ask myself, what gives me life? What makes me feel alive?

The answer comes so quickly: creating. But I brush it off because I’m supposed to be resting. I’m not gonna be some capitalist NPC that is so attached to productivity that she can’t take time off to grieve her childhood home and her neighborhood burning down.

But then grief whispers, “it isn’t about producing, it’s about creating. Rest is not restful if you have stopped kindling your inner flame.”

And so I am here now writing with tears streaming down my face because with each word I type, something weaves itself back together inside of me.

It’s all so counterintuitive, to create when we’re tired. But there is being physically tired and then there is being spiritually tired. Learn to decipher between the two. If you are physically tired and can’t keep your eyes open, go take a nap. If you’re spiritually tired and feel like your days have lost their saturation, like you are healthy yet hollow, go create something. Let source channel through you. Feel that life force that comes when you become a conduit for spirit.

When we are grieving, we must create a new creator mode––one that holds hands with our grief. One that honors rest, commits to tending the spark within, and is present with exactly where we are. If we try to do it as we once did, we will neglect our grief, leaving her to trail behind us, tripping as she tries to keep up, when she so deeply needs to be held close to us right now. We must create with grief beside us, holding her hand, pausing to be with her in moments of silence, allowing her small outbursts to happen without judgement, slowing down and listening to her so we can let her wisdom infuse our creating.

Don’t let grief hold you back from making your art or creating or following the dreams you had before that still ring true. Don’t think that by having the urge to be creating again you’re a lil brain-washed capitalist pig that can’t rest for a moment. None of that is true. Of course you miss creativity running through your body. Of course you miss your craft. Of course you still have desires. None of that just goes away simply because you have experienced tremendous loss. Your grief is just now asking you to bring her along the way.

And how beautiful that even when we have lost so much, we are still able to give via the abundance of our soul creations.

Grief calls us to re-evaluate our ways of being and our ways of connection. She supports us to hold onto what has worked in the past, but pushes us to find a deeper well within it. To unlock the next level that we didn’t know existed.

Grief encourages us to ask ourselves: How can I serve me and my grief as I create? How can I allow my self expression to support me, right here, right now? How can I choose myself in my art?

And always, as a reminder: “The audience comes last.” – Rick Rubin

– KG xo

PS – It feels SO good to be back here. I missed you all dearly. You’ll be seeing more of me from now on. Love you.

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The Artists’ Way – Together

February 18 – May 20, 2025 | Tuesdays at 5:30–7:00PM PT

In a very related creativity tangent: I’m very excited to share that I will be hosting an Artist’s Way group starting this February and I would love for you to join me. 🎨 ✨

The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron is an iconic book and 12-week, self-led course that helps people with artistic creative recovery. This book paired with the support of a group will guide you in uncovering problems and pressure points that may be restricting your creative flow.

I had been wanting to start an Artist’s Way group at the end of the year, and now, after the fires, I know that it is exactly where I and so many of us are meant to be:

Creating intentional space to be with our art and our people, together. 💫

When I did it on my own back in 2021 for the first time, it quite literally changed my life: I 1) realized I was a writer, 2) quit drinking, 3) moved back to LA after thinking I’d NEVER end up back there, 4) stopped dying my hair and fell in love with my natural color which I had not seen since 8th grade, amongst so many more ‘returnings’ to myself that might seem small but felt like gigantic puzzle pieces clicked into my soul.

That is the magic of The Artist’s Way. It’s why it’s iconic and why anyone you come across that has done it feels like a cousin in some way. It is so much more than just reconnecting to your creativity––it is a full blown transformation in how you RELATE to life, living, pleasure, joy, and creating. And when we go through work like this together, the results are only amplified as we are inspired by one another’s journeys.

I invite you to join me in The Artist’s Way—in returning home to yourself, to your home within that is not a place but a way of creative being, and to bring any grief along, for she is welcome and very needed on this special journey.

We’ll meet on Tuesdays at 5:30–7:00PM PST for 14 weeks (includes intro + closing weeks) and have gentle WhatsApp touch points + creative buddy support during the week!

For more info on what you can expect, click here.

If you’re ready to sign up, Venmo Kristen-Goldberg $222 to secure your spot! Include your email in the payment description so I can reach out to you.

If you’re a LA fire victim and need support, DM me! I’m giving away 3 free spots and would love for you to join. ❤️

Here’s to recovering and nurturing our creativity, together. 🫶 xo